March 24, 1989: The Exxon tanker Valdez accidentally hits the state of Alaska, spilling about 11 million gallons of oil. Capt. Joseph Hazlewood was later convicted of negligent discharge of oil and failing to leave a note at the scene of an accident. What’s scary is that it’s not even one of the 50 worst oil spills of all-time.

March 27, 1884: The first long-distance telephone call takes place, between New York and Boston. Contrary to urban legend, the content of the call was not “Red Sox suck!”

March 27, 1998: The Food and Drug Administration approves the use of Viagra; sales of used Corvettes and Mustangs drop 78%.

March 28, 1930: Constantinople changes its name to Istanbul; provides fodder for quirky rock bands of the future.

March 28, 1979: An accident at the Three Mile Island nuclear generating station kills no one, spooks many; America says “F that!” to nuclear power and decides to take its chances with coal and oil.

March 30, 1867: U.S. Secretary of State William Seward completes the purchase of the Alaskan Territory from the Russian Empire for $7.2 million. Enraged Congressmen petition the Russians to give Seward a negative feedback rating.

March 30, 1964: The popular quiz show Jeopardy! debuts on NBC. Cries of “I could totally win this if I wanted to” heard throughout the nation for the first time.

March 30, 1981: Would-be assassin John Hinckley, Jr. fires six shots at President Ronald Reagan, doesn’t land one (Reagan was hit by a bullet that had ricocheted off his limousine). Jodie Foster still won’t return his calls.