These results will undoubtedly change soon, but here’s all you need to know today about LeBron James and Dirk Nowitzki, less than 24 hours after the Dallas Mavericks humbled the Miami Heat in the 2011 NBA Finals. Thanks Google autocomplete!

LeBron James is…

Dirk Nowitzki is…

Hmm, so apparently they’re both gay, ugly, and overrated. I’m just not sure who I should hate more — the Nazi or the one in the Illuminati.

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