All because…

I don’t know if you’ve seen these awful “All because two people fell in love” signs, but they’re inescapable these days.  They’re usually found either as stand-alone signs or as a frame full of pictures of peoples’ kids.  The first time I saw one of these, I thought it was kind of sweet – in a somewhat treacly sort of way.

Now the damn things are everywhere, and I’ve grown to loathe them.  The only thing worse than trite sentimentality is mass-marketed trite sentimentality, and this little saying is the verbal equivalent of those posters with the dressed-as-adults kids kissing or holding hands.  Or even worse, Anne Geddes posters.  *shudder*

So as an alternative, I offer up a few variations on this “All because…” theme that are a little more grounded in reality.  Feel free to print any of these and hang them in the high-traffic room of your choice!

All because the condom broke...

All because of too much cheap beer...

All because my husband's urologist is an idiot...

All because the cable was out...

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